Stars in the sky

A night sky is big and black. Sometimes that huge darkness can be oppressing. But that just makes the sparkling little dots up there shine and stand out even more.
And now it's time to focus on those little flecks of light rather than the vast dark around it.

Some highlights of last week:

I hung out with Keeli for the first time in a while. It's rare that I get to just sit and talk with her, and I miss doing that. She's a fun person to be around, and talking with her is hardly an effort at all. I very much value people who I can sit and talk with for a while. We were supposed to be studying, but hell, I always make room for sociality. I needs it. We met after class, I helped her solved her Outfit dilema, we studied in the library, we ate dinner with Morgan, and the later that week we had lunch together. I hope she really does take me out shopping sometime...

Robert is still around, and I continue to call him one of my best friends. He's always, ALWAYS willing to listen, to comfort, to talk with, and to laugh with. I hope he lasts a long, long time.
Funny story: last friday I decided to join him with hanging out with the DDR club. I didn't DDR, because as most people will figure (and a few know) I suck popsicles at it. But the girls there (other than being Japanophiles, obsessed with anime) were very nice and fun to talk to. They draw pretty well (other than all they draw is anime), and we had fun looking up not-so-polite Japanese terms. The males there were... well, to be fair, I didn't get to know them that well, but they didn't seem like the most socially-savvy people out there. In fact, Robert seemed to have the most sense. And I'm not getting to the point at all. Though this in itself was a nice story. ANYWAY. Robert, I found out (much to my delight and amusement), adores tulips. My roommate had some on her desk, and he asked and got one, and treasured it all night. He took it to DDR club with him. I hugged him goodbye, and then wanted to wish his precious flower goodbye by touching my nose to the petals.
As I mentioned in my previous entry, the weather has been beastly cold, and very dry. What do you get in cold and dry weather? Lots and lots of static electricity. Usually if I'm handling clothing or touching something metal, I get reminded of this phenomenon.
I wasn't expecting a good shock on the nose from the flower.
Robert and I laughed about that for a good while. It was pretty damn funny.

Last tuesday, as I was on my way to get Keeli into her V-Day Date Outfit (she was borrowing a shirt and necklace from me, shoes from my roommate), I ran into a long-time-no-see buddy of mine, Ryan. He asked me what I was doing this evening (my original plans being "nothing," or "see if Adria's available," or "bug Kit and Jen and watch the Olympics"), and told me Rent was playing at the VU, and asked if I wanted to go. I sounded iffy, but I thought that it might be the thing to do.
Of course, after he went on his way, Keeli started laughing--the kind of laugh that let you know she was suppressing it for a while. "He SO likes you!" ... WHAT?! Ryan? Whom I rarely see? And who's only seemed to express friend-like interest in me? "Oh come ON! I know it when I see it! He asked you what you were doing tonight, he was expressing interest in you. And did you see the way he was LOOKING at you?!" No, I didn't. And if I did, it obviously flew over my head as well as any bird could. We get back to the dorm, she scoffs at my loose-jeans-held-by-a-belt, my Nightmare Before Christmas sweatshirt (which I get many compliments for, thank you very much!), and starts rummaging through my wardrobe for "date-worthy" clothes. And then my roommate's, since I didn't have anything sans the top that I was lending her.
... Okay, I did agree that I would spend time with him tonight, but who said ANYTHING about a date?! He was my friend. My FRIEND! And although Ryan is a wonderful, worthy guy... I just don't have enough interest in him. He's just not the guy. And I dont' want to start yet another half-relationship with a guy I feel lukewarm about. And after attempts by Keeli AND my roommate to Barbie me up (aka dressing me up in what THEY think looks good on me), I put my foot down and say what I wear is what I wear--he's gonna take me like this, because dammit, this is me today.
No, I'm not mad. A tad on the borderline of annoyed, maybe. I can't help but like the attention, I confess. And I don't blame them. However, as wishy-washy and pushovery and passive as I can be sometimes, this was the Aggressive Little Aries coming out and saying "I'm NOT gonna be bossed around this time!" Go me? Go me!
I watched Rent (second time--first was with Kit and Jen in December) that night, Ryan came a few minutes late. For a while I thought I'd been abandoned or mistaken, but good ol' Ryan came through. Afterwards I invited him to my room, where he and Kit and I watched the Olympics. There were little decorating doohickies on the floor, and we sat and arranged them geometrically and artisitically. Our Pride and Joy was a little ever-evolving twisty Pipe-Cleaner creature. It's purpose is to be worn on someone's finger and wiggled near someone's face.
Or, according to Todd's idea, be shoved up a guy's penis. (Females, there's your new threat. Or just share it with the males you know, I personally get a sadistic pleasure watching them cringe when I talk about ways to hurt their manhood. *cute grin laced with evil*)
We also watched Wonder Showzen. Robert and I discovered it two fridays ago after the opening ceremony for the Olympics. A show done in the style of a little kid's show, with puppets, cartoons, and little kids interviewing/getting interviewed/dancing around, ect. Very very sick, twisted, and all around fucked up. And DAMN HILARIOUS!!!
As Robert put it, so horrible, and so wonderful. It's hooking.
Ryan and I had fun with that one. And then he thanked me for spending time with him on that day, because on this special day for significant others, he was alone.
Nothing like being alone together to get rid of that lonely feeling. Thank you too, Ryan.

My academic life isn't really suffering, I've been getting decent scores on my tests. I didn't go to philosophy at all, though. I hope he posts the notes... And I'd better go, too. Tests are important to pass, since we only have 2 and our grade is based solely on those tests. Eeek. I need to get my butt started on that bloody review article for my anthro class. Oy. But I'm not dying!

I'm hopefully gonna get my portfolio together this week. I want to get into that art program... I've been painting and drawing more recently too. Nothing too special... though I'd like to give some of my artwork away...

Being home is cool, too. Only have had to deal with bickering siblings now and then, and unfortunately Graham's not home this weekend. The plan is to see him perform in State (he made it to state!!!) tomorrow in Ellensburg. He's staying in Yakima. From what I hear, Renton sounds beatiful and luxurious next to Yakima. And we had a nice 45 minute long conversation last night, talking about life lately and different things here and there. He told me he'd been talking to many people while he was over in Yakima... my brother being social?! Excellent! He'd been rather anti-social throughout highschool, which made me worry a bit... granted, most highschoolers are assholes and dumbasses and buttheads and Big Dicks, but... well, I was sad his friends were few and he spent the majority of his time reading in a corner somewhere. But here he is, meeting and talking to interesting people (male and female) all by himself. I was worried about him in college... but it looks like that's one more worry I need not have. I be proud of him.
... plus, from what I heard my mom say her friend said her daughter said (who happens to be friends with Graham and is in a relationship with one of Graham's friends)... there's a girl who wants to ask Graham to prom. My brother! Being asked! To Prom! I want to know who... Apparently she's too shy to do it. Poor girl. I hope she gets the guts to do it... though I can't say I can see my brother having fun at the prom (I didn't go to mine, and don't exactly regret it), it would be a good experience for the both of them (and a pretty big ego-booster for Graham--at his age, he would need it). Go for it, girl!

Yesterday I was in somewhat bad sorts, and broke down a few times, and then had a big breakdown in the middle of the night that lasted about half an hour-45 minutes... and no one to talk to. I ended up getting out of my bed in my room and moving to the downstairs couch and sleeping there instead (not that comfortable, but at least I slept). Today has been mostly much better... with emotion being drawn pretty much only at Travis' "Luv." As Robert said, they are an emotion-evoking band. "I want to be held and understood and assured that I am not alone..." was mostly the emotion I experienced.

Be held again, I will soon. I've got someone nice enough to do that for me these days. Be understood, I will. I've got people to talk to freely. Not alone... I am.

I've decided when I get enough money, the first thing I'll do is start shopping for really really nice things to give to my friends. I've been spoiled enough by them already, I just want to give and give and give.

For now, I'll see if I can give them rare and priceless pieces of artwork.