The next time I post, I hope I'll be better

I owe you all so much explanation, and yet I these days I don't seem to have the mental energy to pour everything all out.

I'll just say that loneliness is the most prominent emotion of mine these days. Single life is hard. I get bored too often, and tired of my schoolwork too easily. Friends are nice and very comforting, but unfortunately few and often not available. I've lost two of my best friends, and don't know when I'll be able to earn that status with them again. I miss them both, very much.

And I miss every day that I didn't feel such continual and deep down sadness.

Just to be understood again. Truely understood. That's all I really ask for.
And held. Being held is nice too.