Ho, Skank, Loose, Temptress, Harlot, Whore, Libertine, Tramp, Nymphomaniac, Bimbo, Strumpet, Scarlet Woman, and Lady of the Evening...

... along with many MANY different synonyms I found for the word "Slut."

My eyes breezed over an article in the PI today, and the first thing I noticed was the picture, featuring a lip balm labeled "Slut lip balm," the flavoring being "Floozy Fruit." Now, because of the aliterating fragrance name, I couldn't help but think it a tad funny. However, the "SLUT" label is in big letters, and the first thing I felt was uncomfortable, and that part made me roll my eyes and think in a muttering voice, "Goddamn society..."

But the article, as things like this do, intrigued me. So of course I read it.

You may do so here.

Reading it is optional, but it might help with following discussion.
(I sound like an english professor--though I'd probably be requiring y'all to read it and would kick you out of class if you didn't. Snarl hiss.)

So slut--good or bad? My immediate reaction is bad. Bad word, bad lifestyle, bad image. However, this article points out that in today's world, there is a prominent double-standard for that word. I bet y'all have noticed by now that younger and younger kids are getting skankier and skankier. Fashion with young girls and women is leaning towards more bare skin and suggestiveness towards promiscuity. Pop cultural icons are getting to be more and nothing more than a bunch of Tits and Ass with a Pretty Face.
Still.
Women are getting more open and comfortable with their sexuality. For a good long time it was not proper or good for a women to be open with her sexuality, being it from a commited relationship or from swingin' around. And, heh, if a man had seen multiple partners (seperately or all together), he was given pats on the back and status amoung his fellows. So perhaps it's about time that women start get on this kind of status and not be so shamed.

Or not. When it comes down to it, I'm not sure I really like that kind of attitude towards sex from either gender. To treat sex as a thing to have leads to treating people as things to have, and so on. I'd like to believe that the slut image partially comes from our shaming of sex and the human body and so forth. Part of this image is a big "FUCK YOU!" (literally) toward that attitude. While it can be liberating for some people and for some time, it doesn't necessarily lead to a better idea.

The article pointed out that it's starting to be used more as an endearing term and not-so-unclassy term, like "pimp" and "queer." It's used as playful jabs at each other, or as geniune greetings. "Hey slut! How r u? ;) <3" (Freakin' internet) I don't know if I'd casually refer to any of my friends as "slut," but I HAVE used it many times as a playful jab. One of my friends becomes a slut when I can't get ahold of her or when she's unavailable. For no good reason. And there were always those fake arguments/namecalling tournaments, and slut and its various synonyms would come into play (and with some people, they've progressed into really ugly/funny territory, like racism).

I do get slightly uncomfortable when I hear about promiscuous people, though I haven't got much of a clean record. I'm still a virgin (and I don't plan to throw that away any time soon), but I'm not by any means chaste. It may not be such a great thing for me, but I can understand people who are lonely. I can understand the "To hell with it! I do what I want!" attitude. But I've noticed, and maybe it's because of all this cultural stigmas we've placed on such things, that I don't always feel better about myself, nor do I feel any less lonely or sad. I get much happier from non-instant-gratification bonds I make with people. There have been a few times when being physically close with someone had inspired me to become a bit livelier, but I could never keep it up for long.
And I had noticed that these days it was hard for me to really feel something. I've come to realize that what I miss was the obvious--love. Love in general, love from friends, love from someone special, and love during intimate moments. It really sparks it up.

My feelings about "slut" are still mixed. If such a lifestyle makes you happy and you are comfortable with the way you are, sure, I won't slap you around with my personal beliefs. But we all know as we grow older that it is never okay to do something or fit with something purely because other people want you to, or you feel that other people would want you to. No need to show cleavage in every single shirt you own just to feel attractive, nor do you need to wear tiny skirts to be absorbed into the pack of hott chicks.

In the end, I will continue to believe that the general attitude towards sex in our society needs a bit of a repair or two. It is a stigmatized subject, and consequently squirts out the other end as an "I'm so bad I'm good" idea. Sex should not be something to be ashamed of, nor our own bodies. Sexual exploration isn't bad either. What IS important is being smart and being more mature. Sex is for the mature, in more than just body. It is an adult decision, and not something younger people should take lightly. But of course, everyone will have different ideas of what sexuality means to them. Unless it really hurts someone, they have their right to feel and express themselves that way.

It's been a while since I've expressed an opinion on something. Human sexuality, gender, and their relationship in society has long intrigued me. I'm sure my attitude and views have been expressed Ten billionty times, but it's never come from me before!

I'm not in a fucking good mood

So I'm gonna use fuck alot. Deal with it, fuckers.

1. FIRST NAME? You should fucking know this.

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Fuckin' tonight

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, it fuckin' sucks

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Fuckin' meat packing industry...

6. KIDS? Fucking better be a later option

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? At this point, who'd want to be fucking friends with a whiney attention whore who's going fucking emo right now? I fucking wouldn't want to.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? What does this fucking look like?

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT? What the fuck is sarcasm?

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Fuck no. Lost them at 11. Lead to one of the fuckin' scariest experiences of my life.

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? After I'm done fucking myself with a rusty cleaver sideways

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fuckin' fruit loops.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Don't fuckin' need to.

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I'm fucking weak

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? I fuckin' made ginger tonight, but I'll have to go with mint-fuckity-chocolate chip

16. SHOE SIZE? 6 1/2 - 7 1/2. I'm fucking tiny.

17. RED OR PINK? Fuckin' red, cause it's fucking expressive and I'm fuckin' drawn to it

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Hmm, where the fuck do I begin? How about my fucking' pushover, easily lead, self-blaming, self-pitying, attention-whoring, whining, crying, undetermined, unfocused, half-sadistic, emotionally-masochistic, overly-caring, overly-senstive, overly-emotional, too-easily-forgiving, naive, unbrave, fucking-overly-heart-bleeding-breaking self.

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? The ones who really fuckin' cared

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Fuck if I care

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Fuckin' gray sweats. No fucking shoes

22. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Fuckin' cookies-and-cream ice cream. I won't gain a fucking ounce either.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? The echoes of Nine Inch Nail's Hurt in my head. Fucking emotions...

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? The one that no one uses cause it's lame

25. FAVORITE SMELL? Rose.

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Fuck if I can remember. No one calls me. Probably a family member.

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTED TO? How fuckin' nice they are.

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Depends.

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Something with fuckin' fruit in it. Not a reference to gay people, fucktard.

30. FAVORITE SPORT? Baseball but fuck if I follow much sports these days.

31. HAIR COLOR? un-fuckin'-changing brown

32. EYE COLOR? Fuckin' brown again.

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Fuck no, my eyes are fucking fine without them

34. FAVORITE FOOD? Fucking depends on my mood... we'll go with watermelon and tons of chocolate for fuckin' now

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? The ending fuckin' better be happy

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Clerks. They used fuck alot in that movie too

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? A fuckin' black pirate shirt

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, I fuckin' hate cold

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Like I can get fuckin' kissed these days or even fuckin' hugged. Fuck.

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Something fuckin' deliciuos

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I don't fucking know who's reading my fucking blog posts these days

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Those who don't fucking read the blog, of fucking course

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? I've fucking slowed down on reading since fuckin' high school got the fuck out

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have a fucking mouse pad, I'm use the the "fucking lame" touchpad

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Fuck... probably south park with my brother. They use fuck alot too. Mackey says I should use Mmkay instead of fuck. Cause it's the worst word I could say. It'd be kinda funny to do this thing over and use mmkay instead of fuck, but I don't fucking feel like doing that right now.

What the fuck happened to 46?

47. ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES: Y'all should know--Beatles Fucking Rule

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Depends on your fucking definition of home.

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm fucking artistic and fucking logical at the same time. I'M also good at fucking up and making a big fucking deal about it.

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? April 9th, 1986. Pasadena, CA. I fucking miss California...

Fuck, I don't want to explain. I'm just fucking pissed off... and I desperately want a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Cause I'm fucking sick of crying by myself and wishing my pillows would fucking hug back.
I'm fucking tired now. Good fuckin' night, fuckers.

Yummy Bytes

So my friend Josh claimed that he was able to stuff his pizza into a floppy drive and email some to me.
I didn't get any of his pizza. He made me cry.

However, it was inspiration for a rather interesting question for my geeky friends, and I decided the results were postworthy.

QUESTION:
If you could take a pizza* and convert it into a file on your computer, how much space would you say it takes up?

*standard size (medium/large) cheese pizza, with exception of Cameron's answer

ANSWERS:
Josh: I'm not sure, hopefully its less than 10 MB

Eric: I'm gonna go with 16Mb

Justin: well, i would have to say maybe 3.75 GB. but the important part is that it is an exe file, and when it gets run, it eats up 80% of my RAM... pizza occupies all or my mental functions when i eat it

Robert: a platter... drive platters keep getting bigger... so i'd guess well around 120GB or bigger... it depends on what drive

Tom: i'd say around 8 gigs... a movie is around a gig, and if you take a dvd box you can place 8 of em and make sort of a pizza... but realistically, terrabytes of space if you were transferring matter. gigaquads truthfully

Jeremy (friend of Josh): you mean like all the molecular and temperature data stored in binary format?

Camron Sable (friend of Josh): Hmmm... Pineapple's pretty heavy... I'd say e-mailing a slice of hawaiian pizza'd be a few megabites, 4ish maybe

Ryan: terrabytes. lots and lots of terrabytes... like, 60 tiB

RESULTS:
Quite the spectrum of answers, from only a few megabytes to terrabytes. Either way, that's alot of bytes.

If any of you readers have another theory, I'd be happy to hear it.

*UPDATE*
Luan: 6 mb?

The windows open and the little girl dreams...

She dreams that she had the courage to be happier.

Hello blog, it's been a while. I've been afraid of writing about the same things over and over again. Plus I don't think many people read this much anymore. I'm not sure how much I want to reflect on my thoughts or my life or current events anymore. What happens happens. And sometimes it hurts too much to think about it...

I'm 20 years old, I've yet to hold a real job, I don't drive, I still technically live with my parents, and I've just declared a major that I'm a bit unsure about. I don't know where I'm going, but I know where I've been. Sometimes I go back, and sometimes I almost take a step forward.

Growth is slow. Healing is slow. Sometimes I wish growth could grow quicker, but I know it takes a crisis for something so drastic. And I would like my life to get a little easier, frankly.
Sometimes when you put your life in perspective, things aren't so bad. But I'd like to be self-centered for a while.

I was told that sometimes selfishness isn't a bad thing, that we need to be able to satisfy our own needs in order to be happy with satisfying others. My dad always told me that we're here to serve others--the community, however it may be defined. Which is always a good idea, and I firmly believe it... but maybe he forgot to tell us that selflessness can be too much sometimes. I think I've undergone that fate sometimes... To most, I'm fairly submissive, go-with-the-flow, sure-whatever-you-want-to-do. (My vocabulary needs expanding) I've been rebuked and even scolded at by some of my friends for not being more aggressive with stating my needs and wants. Sometimes I can't help it... it just seems that my needs aren't nearly as important as everyone else's. The way I grew up? Perhaps. My parents do a hell of alot of selfless things too. My mom's a nurse (hectic and demanding job) and my dad's gonna be a lawyer. Not a rich in-you-face lawyer. He's gonna go work with Indian tribes, which will NOT make him rich.

Why do I bother writing these things down? People tell me that it's good to write down your thoughts, that it helps.. but you know what's scary? Sometimes I'm scared to know my thoughts, cause I know exactly what they really are...

I'm so scared of being alone. Is it an irrational fear? It can lead me to do irrational things... like be around people for the sake of being around people.
Can I have real friends who understand me and who will stick by me? Or will I have conviniences for unlonliness for a while?
Can I care about them? Will they care about me?
I'm willing to care about people, so long as they give me reason to care. I like to be caring.
And soemtimes I don't like to be caring. Cause sometimes I feel like the only one, and that's being alone again...
Sometimes I really feel like I'm doing more caring than the other person does. But then again, maybe it's only an illusion. I WANT to care about them, but, maybe even more so that than, I want them to care about me.

It doesn't help that I've still yet to find what will help me through this world. What will spark me up and won't let me down. What'll be the secret to happiness. What'll be there for me whenever I'm in need. What I can do for people.

I don't deserve, I don't deserve, I don't deserve. What the hell DO I deserve anyway?

Three legged coyote's still running...

It's July 5th. After July 4th. I'd spell out significances, but I don't feel like it.

I'm writing on this thing to feel included. It was inspired by one of my friends. I hope he's a real friend... sometimes it doesn't feel like it. No one's really revealing themselves to me... I try my best, but sometimes they don't seem interested in hearing it. So far, in my immediate circle, there's only one who's been interested in me and my past and such... There's another, she and I never really had a chance to bond too much more. And another, she'll be gone next year. And another... but my history with that one is far and gone...

Will I ever be strong enough to rebuild a burnt down bridge? The mountain quaked, the supports snapped, and I cut the last rope. And retied it, and cut it, and picked it up, and dropped it again. It's still lying htere... sometimes I trip over it.

South Park is funnier than I ever thought it would be. I'll need to watch more episodes of that, and Family Guy, and Futurama, and the Simpsons, and all those great cartoons I've missed out on. Venture Bros is great too.

My fingers are moving, my head is tweaking, and my eyes are unhappy with me. My heart's in a sluggy state, though... no sharp pains yet. But something's brewing... something always is. I've carried so many weights now...

It's been too long since I've written, I can't organize my thoughts anymore, I can't draw the way I used to... all my loves are dying. That was emo, gah.

To love, and be loved.
It always comes down to that.