Another month ran off without me...

My computer's been good and fixed, and it's weird not to feel a smoother, worn-down keyboard. But it works all good.
I'm learning more Sweeney Todd slowly but surely.
I love this song, The Mariner's Revenge Song, by the Decemberists.

And as it always is, it's bad for me.

Can I have definite feelings for one thing? Just one? Cause I'm sick of all this ambiguity and mind-changing.
And if I'm not careful I'll give something precious away.

Other than that I'm okay. Things should work themselves out soon... I just never get a feeling that I'm completely out of the woods yet. There's always something new to trip over...

And as usual I'm speaking in code. I don't know when I'll be ready to confess everything. Maybe I never will. Maybe when I'm finally at ease with everything it'll all fall away into the past, where it belongs...

Good for me?

Doing a double major will mean I'll be in school for a good long while.

I'm home this weekend. Hopefully the laptop will come back to life in a week or so. Seeing the furry things has made me happy, and I'm amazed at how big those little squirts of kittens got. Despite their size, however, they still act like kittens. Which means that trouble is not far behind.

I've been borrowing my sister's MP3 player for music sources, and I was listening to the first Third Eye Blind album... it's been a while since I posted a song on here, and some people find that kind of thing annoying.
I need to get out of the habit of apologizing for everything I do.
It's rung a few bells, alot more than it used to. In fact, just about every lyric rings a little bell or two.

I find it hard to fight urges sometimes... as much as I can restrain myself around people for the sake of dignity, some things I have no luck resisting no matter how many times I've sworn them off...

Hey, will you stay awhile.
My smile will not mislead you
'Cause I've been alone, my faith turned to stone
Still there's something in you that I believe in
Close to your pierce
I go wild with fears
Still I let you be
I feel you next to me
'Cause inside I feel
A wind that starts to blow
I'm taken in your undertoe
Everything is fine
I'm lonely all the time

'Cause All I want to do is be there for the things that you're going through
Well is it good for you?
Is it good for you?
'Cause you are the nights
when I don't know where my life should go
Well is it good for you?
Is it good for you?

Hey, child please stay awhile.
My smile will not mislead you.
'Cause I've been without
I go wild with doubt
I grab at you
I can't stop grabbing at you
'Cause I feel you cross my mind in disarray,
Intoxicated ricochet
There's nothing wrong
Just don't take too long

'Cause all I want to do is be there for the things that you're going through
Well is it good for you?
Is it good for you?
'Cause you are the nights when I don't know where my life should go
Well is it good for you?
Well is it good for you?

And then sing that chorus one more time.

I'm not sure who's perspective I am for that to be. Feels like mine and another's at the same time. Like a dream...

On another note, I can't stop listening to Shakira's Ojos Asi. I used to not tolerate her stuff, since she seemed to be yet another prancing sex-on-a-stick for a pop star... but she does have an intersting heritage and a good voice. And goddamn that song is catchy. Plus it's not in english. And sounds very arabic in its roots. Whoo.

Time to find a cat to cuddle with for the night.

My poor little baby...

My poor laptop has been abused. By neglect. By carelessness. By ramen.

Don't spill ramen broth all over keyboard. It'll make the computer so sad that it'll have to be sent away to get fixed...

My friend Patrick says it only gets better from here. Please be right, Pat!

I miss my music the most. I've got White Stripes stuck my head every day, and I want to listen to my favorite Serial Killer Musical... and I keep thinking about all the awesome songs I could be listening to...

The ironic thing was at the time I was trying to calm down from so much stress by talking to my cousin and listening to Neil Young.

Thanks god. that was funny. now hug me?

I am here

Bellingham is "here."
The fourth floor of a fairhaven stack. No elevators. I don't foresee any weight gainage on my body. It really hit me how long it's been since I've really been back. I'm reminded I visited during the summer... That time felt like vacation. This time it really feels like I'm coming home.

Classes have been keeping me busy, so I've got a real excuse for keeping these updates infrequent.

I'm meeting new people here and there, but I don't know if I've truely gained any new friends yet. We'll have to see what this year brings. Maybe I'll start forming a posse of art kids. They do seem cool.

My love life ain't the shizzle. And I'll keep this in my pocket.

My roommate and I seem to be getting along fine so far. We're a bit quiet to each other... I guess we're both just shy.

I've been feeling a bit better in alot of respects. Keeping busy has been beating down the boredom demon, but you know, not all problems are solved by business.

Be like the squirrel, carry one little piece of a problem at a time...

(I've been listening to the White Stripes' "Elephant" album ALOT lately. Es muy awesome-o.)