What on earth is my subconscious trying to tell me...

Last week I had some epically weird dreams. I thought I'd share them today.

Dream 1:
So, apparently Justin and I got engaged. I woke up, and there was a ring on my finger, and I knew we had been engaged.
Furthermore, it was not the first time--memories came back to in my dream about our previous engagement. My first clue was that, on my left hand, there were 2 rings--they were blue and looked like they were made out of plastic, but somehow weren't--when I looked closer, they shined and glowed more metallic-like, and I could almost see little images in them, like they were being projected almost holographically. One was on my ring finger, and the other on my middle, and as I recalled the first engagement, I remember I had a pink ring instead (though both my rings on my hand were blue), and I got pregnant and had the kid in my own bed, mom attending to me. Don't know what happened to it either, it was never explained in the dream.
So then I realized I was also married to Justin, cause on my right hand there was another ring. Again, it looked like cheap metal band with a blue stone on it,but as I looked closer, the stone looked very metallic and shiny and glittery, and again seemed to portray holographic images, only they were bigger images and almost seemed to take the shape a cylinder around my hand... and I remember thinking, "Wait... so if I'm married to Justin, does that mean he's not going out with Chisty anymore?"
Eric also go engaged to someone too--It was Cate Blanchett.
So then I asked Justin and Eric why they decided to get engaged. Justin shrugged and said "We just felt like it."
For some reason I got royally pissed off--I think it was because, even though I was unsure about Justin, I thought it meant I was special or something. My anger went towards Eric first. I was trying to claw and hit and and slap his face as much as possible, but the whole time he had this annoying stupid grin on his face, and I knew it was because he were getting nicely sexed up now. I was trying to make him realize how stupid he was, cause apparently Cate Blanchett in my dream was supposed to be a grandma age, and he coudlnt' sleep with someone like that. (We also kept caling her Galadriel in my dream). She was always off to the sidelines, laughing at something too, no matter what was going on.
Then I started yelling at Justin for doing this to me and why he did it "for the hell of it" and all that.. and then suddenly it turned sexual, and my memories fuzz out from there...

Dreams #2 and #3

he first dream I've unfortunately forgotten alot of, but the one thing that does stick out is that Robert and I got very mad at each other and were fighting alot and doing things back and forth at each other to spite one another. The few things I remember was that Robert declared that he was going to marry Glenn. I protested, saying "You can't do that! Glenn and Maia are gonna get married!"But then he said he was gonna marry BOTH of them. I started to protest again, "You can't do that, polygamy isn't... oh wait... dammit it IS allowed!" (Apparently in my dream, polygamy is perfectly alright)
Later on, Robert was an elephant, but the thing he did to piss me off was to take out his eyeballs and stick his trunk through one eyesocket so it would hang out of the other eyesocket. (I know, wtf, I don't know either) Later I was feeling a bit better, and we were talking, and I said to him "You know the part I miss the most about you being human?" He asked, and I said "Human lips!" (I don't know what that was about either.)
Then he was back to normal and trying to throw a mirror I had off a cliff. I also remember trying to help someone turn a department store into a live boardgame. It looked like costco...

The second one: I'm sure more things happend besides this, but the first thing I remmber was someone playing World of Warcraft, and it turned out to be Eric. It was a bit interesting because part of the game was laid out like any online RPG, with a map and a screen with a character on it and all that (and it looked more liek Guild Wars anyway), but part of it was also simultaneously playing out like a movie (it was one of those dream moments where two things were going on at once and acting like one thing...). I was looking over his shoulder, and I asked if it were possible to go to some other land than he was in. He said that because if would involve crossing over a certain range of mountains, it would take forever. So he decided to go an alternative route... but apparently "taking forever" means watching a 10 second cutscreen of the map moving towards your desination. I remember thinking that was stupid...
Then change of scenery: suddenly I was in this room that looked like a large dungeon There was a bunch of people, strange looking people, on choir risers, and there was another person directing them, telling them something. Then one of the crowd holds up something that looks like a mutated chicken foot, and out of nowhere I huge lightning bolt shoots out and hits the chicken foot. So then the guy directing them realizing something bad happened, and said something like "Aqua!" and water burst in everyone's hand, and the chicken foot burst in water and disappeared. I remember thinking "Aqua? what an obvious name for a water spell.."
So then I remember all kinds of weird shit happening. The director guy kept saying we were channeling some sort of god or spirit through that chicken-foot thing, and it was angry because it kept making all kinds of bad things happen to people. Then... another lightning bolt flew out of nowhere and hit this lady, and a sheet flew over her, and there was alot of struggling, and... when she came out... I realized she'd been transformed into a huge penis--one that looked a costume for a b-movie of some sort, you could still see her face in it and everything. Another person suffered the same fate too, and kept trying to walk, but was struggling cause she had balls for feet.
Then I remember a bunch of boxes coming out and taking stuff out of them. We kept taking these big cloth flower prints out, and the woman who was assisting me kept singing out in an operatic voice. Then a whole bunch of boxes with random star wars memorabilia came out--alot of obscure stuff too. I remember seeing a cake in the shape of boba fett, and there were some chewbacca things... Then a box those weird mutated chicken feet came out. Ryan showed up (out of nowhere), took one, and said something sarcastic and Ryan-like about the course of events that the first chicken foot made happen, but I don 't remember what
Then, a complete change of scenery again. I was in van with a bunch fo preteens and teenagers. We had just gotten back from a field trip. I was trying to tell them instruction on how to do something, and they looked very noninterested. Then I was explaining to them how I had to go out and clean something on the van, and got all wet, and then I realized I was wearing a rather thin shirt... Then a bunch of snotty little preteen boys said to me, "So wait, you went outside, got all wet in a thin shirt, and didin't tell us??" and the proceeded to try to grope me. I was looking around for the one person in the van I knew could help me (I hadn't figured out who yet)... and then I woke up, because Robert called me...

Anyone know a good dream interpreter? Joseph, where are you when I need you.